


Not The Best Spectators

by JuliaJekyll



Series: Good Omens One Shots [12]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Attempt at Humor, Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Blow Jobs, Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley is Whipped (Good Omens), First Kiss, Hand Jobs, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Language, M/M, Neck Kissing, References to Hamlet, Scene: Globe Theatre 1601 (Good Omens), Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaJekyll/pseuds/JuliaJekyll
Summary: 1601. Aziraphale heads off to Scotland to do some temptings and blessings, per the Arrangement. When he comes back, he and Crowley decide to go and see Hamlet together, and things get hot and heavy in the Globe.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Good Omens One Shots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544350
Comments: 23
Kudos: 156





	Not The Best Spectators

London, 1601

  
“Crowley, wait a moment!” 

Crowley tensed in anticipation. It was pathetic how his whole body responded to the angel’s voice: his spine straightened, his pulse sped up, and a carefully calm, artfully presentable smile spread automatically across his face, all in the space of less than half a second. He didn’t know exactly what he was hoping for – the suggestion that they go to Scotland together and cuddle up for warmth under the stars on the Highlands, maybe? – but he was not expecting Aziraphale to kiss him on the cheek and say “Thank you again. Really.” 

Crowley gave a practised shrug, but inside his heart was thumping. Warmth from the spot Aziraphale had kissed seemed to radiate to the rest of his face and down his neck, all the way down to his nether regions. “It’s no problem, angel,” he said flippantly. “In fact, since I don’t have to go to Scotland now, I can even stick around for a bit and make sure it works. Still not going to enjoy the play much, though.” 

“Oh, poppycock. You’ve barely given it a chance,” Aziraphale said. “Perhaps when I’m back in town, we can see it together? Based on the rehearsals I’ve seen, I really do think it’s going to be quite a spectacle.” 

Crowley shrugged again. “Not sure I’ll still be in London by the time you get back, but you can feel free to look me up if I am.” It was a good thing demons were naturally good liars, he thought. If there was any chance at all that Aziraphale might want to spend time with him when he came back from Scotland, Crowley would be around, regardless of what boring play he’d be forced to bear witness to. He’d rather tune out overdramatic soliloquies next to Aziraphale than laugh at one of the funny ones alone. 

Aziraphale smiled brightly. “Delightful. Well, I suppose I’ll be off, then.” He grimaced. “I must say, I’m really not looking forward to riding that horse.” 

“I don’t blame you,” Crowley said sympathetically. “Like you said, though, the tempting shouldn’t be that big of a challenge. I wager you’ll be back here within a month.” 

“Oh, I certainly hope so. I’ve been thinking of opening a bookshop.” Aziraphale smiled so genuinely that Crowley’s heart skipped a beat. “Well, I’d best be getting on, then. Preparations to make.” He leaned a bit closer to Crowley. “This clan leader, how will I find him?” 

“Name’s MacKenzie,” Crowley said. “They’re meant to be in command of a pretty sizeable area in the Highlands. You shouldn’t have too much trouble.” 

“Very well. Do take care, dear,” Aziraphale said. He made a shifting move toward Crowley as if about to give him another kiss, then seemed to decide against it and just squeezed his upper arm briefly before turning and walking away. 

Crowley turned in the opposite direction and walked until he found an alley, at which point he ducked into it and pressed himself against the wall. Something was pounding inside him – not just his heart, but his blood, his nerves, every one of his messy human organs. _He kissed me. He KISSED me_ , he thought, raising a shaking hand to his cheek. _What the Heaven did that mean? Did it mean anything? Was he just being angelic, or is this whole…thing we’ve got between us actually going somewhere? Oh, Satan._

He’d begun to feel light-headed, which made him realise that he wasn’t breathing. He sucked in air and took off his spectacles to rub at his eyes. He supposed he could only hope that Aziraphale would be back soon. 

Crowley pushed off the wall and stretched his arms above his head, rolled his stiff shoulders, cracked his knuckles. He had a miracle to perform, and it would have to be a good one. He was going to have to make sure people were still doing Hamlet centuries down the line if he wanted to earn himself another kiss. 

He slipped his shades back on and began heading back in the direction of the Globe. Time to elevate the living shit out of a boring, tragic play. 

* * *

Somewhere in Scotland, Two Weeks Later

  
Crowley had been right about horses being hard on the buttocks, Aziraphale would grant him that, but he had to admit that he was a bit miffed that the demon hadn’t told him what they did to the _groin_. Good lord, his testicles were positively throbbing. He wasn’t sure how men managed to ride horses every day without literally breaking their balls, if you’d pardon the indecorous language. 

He supposed it might be the case that he wasn’t sitting in an ideal position, but he wasn’t keen enough on becoming a skilled horseman to ask someone to help him correct it. And so, he simply suffered in silence for most of the journey, until he’d accomplished his blessing and was ready to head up to the Highlands to find Crowley’s clan leader. 

As Aziraphale bounced around uncomfortably in a carriage – he had elected not to ride another horse – he thought about Crowley, wondering how his demonic miracle had gone. Aziraphale was really hoping to see a big crowd at the Globe by the time he got back to London. He was also hoping that Crowley would still be there, and they could go and see _Hamlet_ together. 

Perhaps then he could get Crowley to take him home, wherever that was for Crowley these days. Perhaps they could spend a bit of time together. Perhaps…

Aziraphale shifted in his seat, trying to find a position that would be easier on his still-sore pelvis. Perhaps he’d finally get up the courage to tell Crowley what he really wanted; what he’d wanted for a few hundred years now. Spending so much time around someone as attractive as Crowley, accepting his help, watching him be his deliciously tempting self…well, it did lend itself to a certain amount of fantasising. 

The carriage stopped to water the horses, and Aziraphale got stiffly out to stretch his legs and walk around a bit, not to mention have something to eat. He hoped he’d be able to find the MacKenzie clan leader and tempt him to steal the cattle relatively quickly and easily. He was sure that the journey back to London wouldn’t be particularly pleasant, but a couple of well-placed miracles should help speed it up a touch, and then he could find Crowley again. 

The sun was beginning to sink, and Aziraphale closed his eyes to feel the breeze as it rolled gently over the highlands. _Stay in London a bit longer, dear,_ he thought. _I’ll be there soon._

* * *

London, After Two More Weeks

  
“You’ve done an excellent job, dear boy! What a miracle it must have been!” Aziraphale was smiling so widely it made Crowley go weak at the knees as they watched people flow into the theatre for the late performance of Hamlet. He couldn’t help feeling a little proud of himself. 

“There might have been a few temptations in there, as well,” he admitted. “Tempting people to see it, I mean.” 

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be even more marvellous now than it was when I was last here!” Aziraphale kissed Crowley on the cheek, just as he had the previous month. “Thank you, dear boy.” 

Crowley felt a familiar heat spread from the top of his head down into his groin. He tried to maintain his usual casual air, but he found that this time, he couldn’t. A single grateful kiss on the cheek was one thing, but two? What the Heaven was Aziraphale playing at, here? If it was some sort of tease, it was cruel, and Crowley didn’t like it. If it wasn’t…

If it wasn’t, he wanted to get onto whatever was next as quickly as possible. 

A bit roughly, Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s wrist and pulled. Aziraphale made a little surprised noise, but he didn’t resist as Crowley pulled him into the theatre, into a dark corner behind the area where the groundlings stood. 

“Aziraphale,” he hissed, dropping the angel’s wrist and getting close to him, staring into his wide blue eyes, “what are you doing?” 

Aziraphale looked confused. “Whatever do you mean, dear?” 

“I _mean_ , why did you kiss me just now?” Crowley demanded, his voice low and a little threatening. “You did it before, too. Is it some weird new greeting you’ve adopted, or…?” He let the “or” hang in the air, wanting to see how Aziraphale would interpret it. 

It was dark where they were standing, but Crowley could see that Aziraphale was blushing. God, but that was charming. Aziraphale glanced at the floor, then back up at Crowley’s face. “I’m…I suppose I’m trying to thank you,” he said. “You didn’t need to do this for me. And this isn’t even the first time you’ve gone above and beyond the call of the, er-”

“The Arrangement.” Crowley’s mouth was dry around the word. 

“Right, that.” Aziraphale smiled tentatively. “Remember the printing press? You certainly didn’t have to make that as popular as you did.” 

“Yeah, well.” Crowley shifted closer still. “Do you imagine that’s the ideal way to thank me? With a few kisses?” 

“Well, I thought that fellatio might be taking it a bit too far for the time being.” 

Crowley choked on air. He sputtered, coughing on shock for a moment, and then said _“What?”_

Aziraphale sighed. “Oh, dear. This isn’t the way I’d wanted to tell you.” 

A hush began to fall over the crowd. Aziraphale turned his head. “The show is starting.” 

“I literally could not give less of a fuck.” 

Aziraphale gave him a look. “We came here to see Hamlet, and that’s what we’re going to do.”

  
“But-!”

“I promise,” Aziraphale whispered, taking hold of Crowley’s hand, “I’ll make it worth your while.” 

Crowley opened and closed his mouth. The blood had rushed to his cock so fast that he was worried it might pop the seams on his hose. “Angel, I-” 

“Come on,” Aziraphale hissed, and dragged Crowley onto the theatre floor just as Bernardo and Francisco began their dialogue. 

There were so many people standing on the ground floor that Aziraphale and Crowley were pressed right up against each other. Every eye was fixed upon the stage, including Aziraphale’s, but as Crowley stood staring at him, he felt the angel slide his hand along his waist, apparently searching for the gap between his doublet and his hose. 

_Oh my Satan. Is he actually…_

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s hand and shoved it into his hose. It took only seconds for Aziraphale to locate his cock and curl his fingers around it. 

Crowley had to press his fist to his mouth to stop himself making any noise. The angel’s hand stroked him a few times, lightly and gently, and then he removed his hand.

Aziraphale leaned close to him, and Crowley felt his breath in his ear: “Did you like that?” 

Crowley could do nothing to stop the snakelike hiss that escaped him as he inclined his head to reply into Aziraphale’s ear: “Angel, you don’t have to do this, you know.” 

“Oh, hush, you silly serpent,” Aziraphale replied, and the next thing Crowley felt was the angel shoving his collar out of the way to put his lips on his neck. His ruff pressed uncomfortably into Crowley’s cheek, but Crowley couldn’t bring himself to care as the angel’s mouth trailed light kisses along his jugular. 

_How now, Horatio! You tremble and look pale; is not this something more than fantasy? What think you on’t?_

Oh, this was certainly more than fantasy, _finally_ it was more than fantasy, and Crowley thought it was just splendid. _That_ was what he thought on’t. 

When Aziraphale’s teeth scraped under his jaw, Crowley yelped, and someone in front of him tried to turn to look, but he couldn’t, because the floor was too tightly packed. Good. 

It occurred to Crowley that he ought to reciprocate somehow, so he wrapped an arm around Aziraphale’s back to pull him closer. He wondered whether the angel was as hard as he was. 

“Aziraphale,” he hissed, his mouth against Aziraphale’s temple. The angel lifted his head from Crowley’s throat to look up at him, his expression open and sincere. “Touch me,” Crowley pleaded, and a light of arousal came into Aziraphale’s eyes. With a smile, he slipped his hand back into Crowley’s hose, this time finding the way himself, and took hold of his penis again. 

Crowley bit the back of his hand hard enough to hurt as Aziraphale gripped him firmly and began to stroke in earnest. With a trembling hand, Crowley reached round to squeeze Aziraphale’s arse, and the angel shot him an approving look as he squeezed tighter. 

_In what particular thought to work I know not; but in the gross and scope of my opinion, this bodes some strange eruption to our state._

Crowley almost laughed out loud. Oh, there was going to be an eruption, alright, if Aziraphale kept up what he was doing. 

It wasn’t perfect. It certainly wasn’t how Crowley had imagined his first sexual encounter with Aziraphale. It was, however, immensely gratifying to feel Aziraphale’s hand and mouth on his skin, and to know that the angel had put them there willingly. 

Desperately, Crowley kissed Aziraphale’s temple, trying to communicate to him how much he wanted this, how badly he craved him. The angel pressed even closer against him in answer, as his hand in Crowley’s hose brought him ever closer to climax. 

When he came, it was with a soft moan that he mostly managed to swallow down. Aziraphale continued to rub his cock until Crowley nearly sobbed from the oversensitivity, then withdrew his hand from Crowley’s hose and discreetly wiped it on his doublet. Crowley leaned on Aziraphale with his full weight, weak in the knees from the orgasm, and stared blearily at the stage, where the ghost was stalking around again. Aziraphale’s hand found Crowley’s and squeezed it, and Crowley closed his eyes. 

This was going to be a very long play. 

* * *

It was an extremely long play. It lasted for hours. And so Crowley felt that he could be forgiven for slamming Aziraphale against the wall and ripping his ruff off as soon as he got him home. 

Their first mouth-to-mouth kiss was raw and aggressive, filthy and delectably wet. Crowley’s tongue was halfway down Aziraphale’s throat within seconds as the angel pressed their bodies together, pushing one leg between Crowley’s thighs. Crowley gripped Aziraphale’s wrists in his hand and thrust them above the angel’s head, pinning him to the wall. His other hand began fumbling with the buttons on Aziraphale’s doublet, working to get it off him. 

“I want…to suck you,” Crowley said, moving his kisses to Aziraphale’s neck. 

“I could help you with that if you’d let my hands go,” Aziraphale panted. “Though if you’d rather keep them here, I – oh! – won’t object.” 

Crowley pulled back just enough to look into Aziraphale’s eyes, allowing lust to fill his gaze, before he let go of his wrists. Aziraphale’s fingers raced over his own clothes, disrobing himself. Crowley hurried to do the same. 

Later, he’d run his hands and his lips over every inch of the angel. Later, he’d memorize the taste and scent of different parts of his skin. Later, he’d appreciate Aziraphale’s body the way it deserved to be appreciated. 

Now, however, he just wanted to get his mouth on some thick celestial cock. 

Crowley dropped to his knees as Aziraphale peeled off his hose, and he wrapped his lips around the angel’s erection as soon as he brought it close enough. Aziraphale moaned, wonderfully loudly, and grabbed Crowley’s hair, pulling on it. Crowley hummed his approval as he continued sucking the angel off, ignoring for now the urgent hardness of his own penis as he reached up to grab handfuls of Aziraphale’s backside. He wrapped his tongue around Aziraphale’s dick, and the angel gave a muffled cry as he took him deeper. 

“Crowley!” Aziraphale pushed him gently back, and Crowley let the angel’s cock slide out of his mouth. 

“Angel, I’m sorry,” he apologised. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, no, dear,” Aziraphale said hurriedly. “It’s just…well, I did rather want to fellate you as well. Perhaps we could…together?” 

“Yes,” Crowley growled, and pulled Aziraphale to the bed. He lie down and let Aziraphale climb on top of him, slipping his cock back into Crowley’s mouth as he touched his tongue to Crowley’s own dick, holding himself suspended over Crowley’s body with his elbows. 

The only sounds after that were wet sucking and the occasional groan. Aziraphale’s penis was silky smooth and gloriously hard, and Crowley closed his eyes in all-consuming pleasure as he tasted it, gulped it, gorged himself on it. Down below, Aziraphale’s tongue lapped at him in flawless, tantalizing circles. 

After several moments, Aziraphale moaned loudly and tapped Crowley’s thigh in what Crowley recognised as a warning. He braced himself, and a second later the angel was coming down his throat. Crowley swallowed and continued sucking until there was none left, at which point he allowed Aziraphale’s softening cock to slip out between his lips and focused on the feeling between his own legs. The sight of Aziraphale’s blond head moving as he sucked Crowley off did him in, and he came just under a minute after Aziraphale. 

After swallowing Crowley’s come, Aziraphale rolled off him and came up to lie next to him. They kissed again, tasting each other in every possible way, their arms wrapping around each other, sweat drying on their skin. When Aziraphale pulled away and looked into Crowley’s eyes, he smiled. 

“I hope you weren’t just doing that to thank me for the miracle,” Crowley whispered, reaching up to touch Aziraphale’s face. Now that the sex had ended, he was feeling terribly emotional. His fingers shook slightly as he stroked down to the angel’s jaw. 

Aziraphale arched his neck in a way that made even Crowley’s spent cock stir. “I assure you,” he said softly, “I wasn’t.” He entwined his fingers with Crowley’s. Crowley could have wept from the sheer feeling rushing in his heart. 

“Well.” Crowley raised Aziraphale’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Neither was I.” 

“I didn’t think you were.”Aziraphale kissed him again, slowly and softly. “I know I don’t say this often,” he said when he pulled away, “but I think I’m getting sleepy.” 

Crowley grinned. “Orgasms will do that.” He held out his arms, and Aziraphale slipped into them, cuddling up against Crowley’s body, his skin smooth and warm.

Crowley kissed the back of his neck. “Goodnight, angel,” he said. 

“Goodnight, dear.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


End file.
